You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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