i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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