I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
