happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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