And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
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