whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
