your parents love me but you hate me
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
In America we eat man semen.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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