Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
