somebody snuck up and got me drunk
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
