the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
