i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
