And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
You ate ashes out of my bong
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
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