Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
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