Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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