margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I will die if light touches me.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
