They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Randomize
