I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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