PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
