Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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