I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
