so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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