There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
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