..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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