Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
