if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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