1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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