I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
