I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
