Duck Duck Cougar?
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
