About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
