i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Well I just put wine in my tea
Randomize
