I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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