He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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