i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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