it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I understand Curling. That high.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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