I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize
