I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
