Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
