margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
