Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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