Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
You took a bar mat shot.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Randomize
