I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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