If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
