The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
so much tequila, so little girl.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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