I hate all girls vehemently.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Randomize