Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
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