Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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