But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Randomize
