I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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