So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Randomize
