you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
