Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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