Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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