New low: just hacked my moms facebook
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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