No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
