omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
His hands were made for my vagina.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
