the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
