The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize