he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Randomize
