you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
