wakey wakey hands off snakey
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
