no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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