All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
