I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
