we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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