# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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