2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
