I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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